


And I Rationed My Breaths

by chromyrose



Series: Haikyuu!! OT3+ Week [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Anxiety, Car Accidents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Haikyuu!! OT3+ Week, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Major Character Injury, Polyamory, Pretend marriage, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:56:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8153059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chromyrose/pseuds/chromyrose
Summary: Asahi gets a call from Daichi's phone; the caller isn't Daichi. It's a nurse, from a hospital, where Daichi is after an accident. 
How do you hold it together when the world wants you to fall apart?





	

**Author's Note:**

> For day four of [Haikyuu!! OT3+ Week](http://hqot3week.tumblr.com/post/150847417746/join-us-in-celebrating-your-favourite-haikyuu) (more than halfway done already ;A;) Today's prompts were **pastries | hospitals | parks** ; I had my followers on twitter vote for which of the three should be the hospital patient, so if you voted for Daichi, this is all your fault. 
> 
> The title comes from Death Cab for Cutie's song "What Sarah Said." For those who know how the song ends, don't worry ;)

Asahi learns that when you get into an accident, someone looks through your phone for an emergency contact: a “mom,” a “dad,” a lover’s name denoted by a heart emoji–

On Daichi’s phone, a nurse finds “home.”

Home is an apartment barely big enough for three adult men, but it’s cozy and neat, the rent is affordable, and the landlady is accepting. Asahi is the only one home.

“Is this the residence of Sawamura Daichi-san? Are you his family?” A smooth, unfamiliar voice comes from Daichi’s number on the caller ID, and Asahi’s throat drops into his stomach.

“Yes. I am.”

“Sawamura-san has been in an accident. We have him at the NTT Medical Center. We need you to come with his medical records.”

Asahi’s brain lags. The clinical way the woman says “accident” plays on loop.

“Sir, are you still with me?”

“Is he okay? Is he awake?”

“I cannot disclose that sort of information over the phone.” She replies tersely. Then, after a pause, she adds, “Please come as quickly as you can.”

Asahi isn’t sure if he answers her; he drops the phone and leaves the house in his home slippers. He runs into the street, to the train station, doesn’t start thinking again until the train is pulling away from the platform.

That’s when he thinks: Suga.

He’s lucky his phone is in his pocket, but his hands won’t stop shaking as he calls.

“Hello?” Suga answers so brightly, Asahi could cry. He does cry, a broken sob that makes the lady next to him on the train shift change seats.

“Asahi?” Suga sounds flustered over the phone. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Daichi,” he wheezes, the name clawing it’s way past a clog in his throat. “Accident. Hospital.”

Suga makes a noise and Asahi can see the face that goes with it in his mind’s eye, the face Suga makes when the wind is knocked out of him. It hurts on top of Asahi’s hurts, when he didn’t think he had room to feel more.

“Which hospital?” Suga asks quietly.

“NTT.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

————

Asahi gets to the emergency room receptionist first.

“S-Sawamura Daichi?” He pants, having run in from the train station, too, even with the vise around his chest.

The bored receptionist lifts an eyebrow. “Are you family?”

“I’m his cousin,” the lie comes so easily. Too easily, given Asahi can’t even convincingly lie to children. He’s been preparing to use that lie ever since they got together, but never imagined it would just roll off his tongue.

“ID?”

He hands one over, and she looks at the picture on the card and back to Asahi critically.

“Please, ma'am, is he okay..?”

She sighs, typing something into her computer. The printer beside her spits papers, and she puts them on a clipboard and holds it out.

“Fill this out for your cousin to the best of your ability. A nurse will be down soon to speak with you.”

The clipboard seems to weigh nothing compared to Asahi’s body, which moves long after he thinks of moving, drags across the waiting room.

The form is standard issue, and every question feels as obvious to Asahi as shape of his own hands.

Name: _Daichi hates formalities._ **Sawamura Daichi.**

Date of Birth: _The day before mine._ **December 31, 1994.**

Sex: _Often. He likes to kiss during penetration._ **Male.**

Pre-Existing Conditions: _He snores when he sleeps on his back, he doesn’t cry when a dog dies in a movie, he’s missing his upper left premolar._ **None.**

Allergies: _My panic attacks, Suga’s cold feet, quitters._ **Tree nuts.**

Family Medical History: _His mom is gone and he doesn’t like to talk about it. His dad did his best but he wasn’t the one who wanted a kid._ **None.**

“Asahi,” Suga’s voice cuts through the haze of memories in Asahi’s mind as he writes Daichi’s history. Asahi looks up and sees him, face dark because of the stark light behind him. “Here you are.”

He puts his hand on Asahi’s cheek tenderly, and Asahi sobs twice before he can get a hold of himself. He buries his eyes and nose in Suga’s icy palm and it’s a comfort that makes him realize he’s been crying all this time.

Suga sits in the adjacent chair, smooths his hand up over Asahi’s forehead, his hair. He peers at the form, every box filled in, and smiles.

“I never realized how much we knew about each other. Have they told you–?”

“Azumane-san,” a new voice calls. A nurse meets his eyes when he looks up sharply, and she quickly comes over to them.

“I am Sato-san,” she introduces herself. “I am one of the nurses assigned to Sawamura-san. You’re his cousin, correct?”

Asahi nods, and Suga adds, “Sugawara Koushi. I’m Daichi’s best friend.” Asahi mentally commends him for only hesitating a little; the nurse doesn’t even notice.

She’s got a sad smile on, and Asahi tries to brave himself for the news.

“Sawamura-san was involved in an accident; he was struck by a motorcycle while on his bike.”

Suga makes the winded noise again, as if he’s the one who’s been hit. Asahi feels himself go numb, craves Suga’s hand in his like a lifeline, but it’s too risky to do that in a public space.

“Is he…?” Suga croaks, unable to speak any more.

“He was awake when paramedics arrived, but fell into a coma before he arrived here. He’s lucky – there are no signs of internal bleeding beyond some bruising on his chest and thigh. His left arm took the brunt of the fall, it’s broken in three places, including the scapula. The extent of the head trauma is unknown, so he’ll have to stay for a few days until the doctors are sure he’s alright.”

Suga has his hand tight over his mouth, and Asahi is sure there’s similar horror in his eyes. He imagines Daichi sprawled on the asphalt, arm bent unnaturally, awake and aware of all of his pain.

“Was there… blood?” Asahi can’t help but ask, distressed by all the unknowns, all the images his mind is throwing at him.

“Naturally,” the nurse replies, her mouth a thin line. “But you should know your cousin is expected to recover.”

This time, the word _cousin_ is a sucker punch to the gut - do men cry over their injured cousins? Is it acceptable for Asahi to show so much pain? He wishes they lived in a world where they could be who they were to each other without fearing judgment, where he can cry over his boyfriend while his other, equally as beloved boyfriend holds him.

Suga’s hand drops, and he lets it hit Asahi’s; it’s only a brush of their knuckles, but it’s immensely grounding.

“Can we see him?”

The nurse looks genuinely remorseful when she tells them they can’t, and Suga, polite and charming, gives her his number, asks her to call when they can.

Asahi wants to protest; how can they be leaving when Daichi is somewhere in this building? But when the nurse leaves with the clipboard, Suga immediately takes his hand.

“I need to eat something or my stomach will implode,” he explains with forced laughter, and Asahi remembers that Suga has always been a stress eater; he gained the freshman fifteen in their first finals week alone. “There’s a bakery near here, and I saw a small grassy area outside. It’s better than the waiting room.”

————

Twenty minutes later, Suga’s sitting on an isolated bench, tucked away in a grove of thick trees, a bag in one hand as he pulls Asahi down with the other.

“No one will see us here,” he promises, and when Asahi sits, Suga shoves half a croissant in his mouth. It feels like eating sand, but Asahi chews.

“Do you remember our match against Wakutani?” Suga asks with his mouth full; there are already crumbs in the corners of his lips.

“You thought of it, too…” Asahi sighs, nodding. “This is so much worse.”

“Yeah, but I remember... that was awful. Maybe it was different, being on the court, knowing you could still win it for him… from the box, all I could do was feel helpless.”

Asahi looks at the food in his hand, but sees Daichi, collapsed on the court, holding his face. Sees him spit out a tooth, feels him grab his shoulder. Daichi had told him to take care of things, but it was Ennoshita who broke the tension; for years, that was proof that Asahi could never live up to Daichi’s expectations.

Daichi changed that by grabbing his chin and kissing him full of confidence.

“I know it’s kind of messed up, but when he had that bruise… all I could think about was rubbing salve on it and kissing it better. I was so messed up about Daichi that year in general…”

Asahi remembers that, too. All of Suga’s longing looks, the way he was always at Daichi’s side, Captain and his Second-in-Command. It made Asahi jealous, and at seventeen, he didn’t know which of them he was jealous of.

When he looks up, Suga's eating anpan, the flaky crumbs of the croissant still stuck to his lips. He reaches over and brushes them away, feels the sticky-sweetness the treats have left on his lover's skin. 

Suga kisses Asahi's fingertips. He smiles when Asahi looks up to his eyes, and reaches with his clean hand to stroke his hair. 

“This time, we get to kiss Daichi's bruises,” he comments with a small smile, even though there are tears in his eyes. Asahi feels his eyes burn, too. 

“The nurse said there are a lot of them.” 

“Then it's a good thing there are two of us, huh?” 

They kiss under the trees, not out of lust or love, but out of desperation and need. Asahi lets Suga's kiss send warmth back into the parts of him that ran cold when he answered the phone, hours ago. He hopes his kiss gives some of that warmth back, that it cocoons the parts of Suga that need reinforcing before they face this nightmare head-on. 

They kiss, heedless of their surroundings, until Suga's phone goes off in his pocket. Suga stands first, brushes the crumbs off of his face, then out of Asahi's goatee with an empty chuckle. 

“Let's go.”

————

The nurse leads them through identical hallways full of beeping machines, blinking monitors, curtained partitions, and solid doors, until they get to a small room. This door is ajar, and Asahi sees a head on the pillow, bandaged. 

“Generally we only allow family in, but since there are only two of you, you can go together. Please don't agitate Sawamura-san; remember, he's just woken up from a coma. It's likely he won't remember much of the accident, and possible he won't remember other things, or be coherent. Try not to be alarmed; we're monitoring the situation as best as we can.” 

With that warning hanging heavy overhead, Asahi pushes the door open gently, and goes into the room first. At the sound of its creak Daichi turns his head, then groans in pain, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Not a good idea,” he mumbles to himself, but when he slowly opens his eyes again, Asahi can watch in real time as his expression changes from pain to elation. Daichi exhales sharply; the heart rate monitor beside him picks up the pace. 

“Asahi,” he calls, lifting his right arm. “Suga.” 

“We're here, Dai,” Suga murmurs back, a tear rolling down his face as he takes the hand and threads his fingers with Daichi's. Asahi lingers a little behind him, but Daichi's eyes focus in on him.

“Fuckin' missed you,” he says in that same raspy, quiet tone. “Suga over eat?” 

“The girl at the bakery is definitely getting a bonus from her boss today,” Suga agrees, laughing and wiping his face simultaneously. “Asahi, come closer.” 

“Are you in pain...?” Asahi asks, shyly approaching the hospital bed. Daichi's eyes follow him as he moves, but then shut as he thinks about the question. 

“In a numb way, I guess,” he slurs a bit. “Lotsa drugs. Glad to be awake.”

“Not as glad as we are,” Suga insists, and Asahi sobs again. Sob-laughs. 

Daichi's got bandages around his head, and the left side of his face, going under his jaw and behind his right ear. But his right cheek is still there, exposed and unmarred, and Asahi touches it like it's glass. 

“Still here,” Daichi says with a stupid smile. “'Til death do us part.' 's too soon, yeah?” 

“We're not even married,” Asahi says, finally crying all the stupid tears he's been holding in all day. He wails like a child, ashamed of himself, but Daichi takes his hand and Suga hugs him from behind and he can't bring himself to stop. 

“I married you,” Daichi says as Asahi cries, as if he's stating simple fact. “Married Suga, married Asahi. So sexy in your kimonos.” 

Suga's laughing, Asahi's crying, and Daichi is spouting nonsense; Asahi's convinced the nurse is going to walk in any minute and kick them out for the chaos. But she never comes. Suga stops laughing, Asahi runs out of tears and finds a tissue box, but Daichi is still giving them a stupid-in-love grin. 

“Were you wearing a kimono too, Dai?” Suga asks him oh-so softly, stroking his knuckles. 

“A black one,” Daichi answers, and his slur is more noticable than before; Asahi can tell he's struggling to keep his eyes open. And as much as he hates talking about this, being reminded of what they can only pretend to have, he's pretty sure Suga is playing along to send Daichi off to sleep with good thoughts. To that end, Asahi is willing to do anything. 

“ _Hai_ ,” he murmurs, brushing his fingertips over Daichi's cheek; his eyes are hazy now, more closed than open. They fall completely shut, but Asahi hopes that Daichi hears him finish. “ _Chikaimasu._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> " _Hai, Chikaimasu,_ " means "Yes, I swear," and according to [this site](http://www.seiyaku.com/seiyaku/vows/japanese.html), it's how Japanese wedding vows are concluded (so, basically, think of it as "I do.")
> 
> I put Daichi's birth year as 1994 because that would make him 17 for the majority of 2012, which is when many fans speculate Haikyuu!! takes place.
> 
> Also, NTT Medical Center Tokyo is a real hospital, but this is a fictionalized version of it, and I claim it to have no similarities to the real thing.
> 
> As always, please let me know what you thought! Comments and kudos are so deeply appreciated! Find me elsewhere on the interwebs: [twitter](http://twitter.com/haikyuutiie) or [tumblr](http://zahhaked.tumblr.com)


End file.
